Love In Action!!

This is a story about what happened a couple of years ago (2005). Every time I saw the prayers and  of George Michael's fans and and the many, many 'please get well George' comments in the comments section of the UK tabloids (yay!), the moving story of this American boy popped into my mind. What do these two people, a typical American teenager, and a British popstar almost thirty years his senior have in common? Being loved! Being loved by someone who has never met you, but who still wants to help in some small way. Because sometimes you just can't stay silent. Love is God. 

What do you think of when you hear the words 'Love in Action'? I'll bet you didn't think of young kids being locked away somewhere against their will, being robbed both of their freedom and the right to be who they are. And yet this is exactly what a 'Christian' organisation called Love In Action used to do. They changed a bit, they no longer hold teenage kids against their will, sadly the other part is still more or less true.

You see Love In Action was - and still is - one of those 'let's cure the gays' groups. All mainstream psychiatrist and psychologists agree that changing a person's sexual orientation is near to impossible. What you can do however is pressure or bully someone into changing their sexual behaviour (i.e. become celibate) and claim they have now left the 'sinful gay lifestyle'. Of course many of these 'cured' men and women become quite unhappy and self-loathing. What they certainly don't become is straight!

Why we need George Michael speaking out about gay issues

This is the second part in a series about fighting homophobia. The first part is here. 


It takes a village. Raising a kid and teaching them about life, that is. And one of the things we need to teach our kids is that being different is just fine!

There's a school of thought in the gay community that only 'safe' and squeaky-clean men and women should speak out about gay issues or become gay activists. George Michael would be the first to admit that his image is anything but clean. A very public outing, problems with drugs, a stint in prison, the facts speak for themselves. So George needn't apply. But I don't agree: we need everyone! Isn't that what equality & diversity is all about anyway?

Utter Delight: A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon

Reading is probably my biggest hobby. There's nothing better than going on a free holiday in the world of a good author. One of the reasons I love England so much is they've got charity shops filled with pristine second-hand books even in the smallest villages. Here's a book I picked up on my last London trip a few weeks ago.

Normally I wouldn't recommend a book that I haven't finished yet, but I can't help myself with this one. A Spot of Bother is just frickin' hilarious, and I can't recommend it enough.

Mark Haddon is the author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time; but I haven't read that one yet. I don't usually read the books that everyone is raving about, at least not until the furore has died down a bit. I'm funny that way. But I'll certainly pick up The Curious Incident from the library once I'm done with this one.

From twitter rant to tabloid fodder

George Michael is back to his 'foulmouthed ranting self' on twitter as he predicted a few weeks ago. That's our George, such a charming way with (naughty) words! And how nice is it to see him back on twitter getting worked up about something or other. He really is getting better!

Tiramisu and other guilty pleasures

This is an old piece, about George Michael and favourite TV show The Nanny. It was written in 2006 when George Michael was still in a relationship with Kenny Goss. I really miss Kenny, he and George made such a beautiful couple. I was a hardcore George and Kenny 'shipper and googling for news or pics of them certainly was a guilty pleasure of mine.

Last night Maria and I were rewatching George Michael: A different story. It’s a great documentary by the way. [The Guardian got it right, it is a warts'n'all hagiography.] George discusses at length the highs and lows of his life and there are lots of both.
There is also quite a bit of Kenny Goss, George’s gorgeous partner. George tells us that he wasn’t sure that Kenny was gay before he asked him out and that he still wasn’t sure on the first dinnerdate. He then all but winks at the camera and reveals that "the second night I became very sure that [Kenny] was gay". Heh.

A Flawless Wedding

This is the last of the blog posts of the blog I started a week before my wedding. I didn't keep a copy of the other posts, which I kinda regret now. I remember blogging the night before our wedding, all nervous and happy. And I posted a very short post on the morning of the wedding, just before the make-up girl came to work her magic on us!

I still love our wedding rings!

Only six days to go till "I do". Maria and I are getting more nervous by the day. It’s a big thing for both us. If you’re gay getting married is like the ultimate coming out and it turns out it’s not for the faint of heart. Only yesterday we were telling each other if we’d known what we were getting ourselves into we might at least have reconsidered or just been too terrified to go through with it.

My first girl crush

This is the second blog post I wrote for my short-lived pre-wedding blog a couple of years ago. As you can see George Michael was on my mind, as was my personal journey into all things gay! Oh and I've since changed my mind about Careless Whisper, hearing it live and singing along with George at all those 25Live concerts made me love it much, much more than A Different Corner!

Our small wedding bouquet!

It’s now only seven days till I get married to Maria, the love of my life. It’s a scary thought. Of course I love her dearly, but forever is a long time. On the other hand I can’t wait to officially be her spouse instead of the hated 'girlfriend'. Girlfriend is such a safe word, and it makes it easy for everyone to pretend you’re best friends of highschool age instead of adult life partners.

About me (2005 version)

Here is my very first blogpost of a few years ago. I wrote it for a short-lived blog that I started a few days before my marriage. It's pretty weird to see both how little and how much I've changed.

My wife and I got married in 2005

My name is Ada, short for Adaobi. I’m a black woman, I'm 38 years old and in 8 days I’m going to be legally married to my girlfriend of 10 years Maria. So I’m a lesbian and I could be living in the Netherlands or Belgium as these are the only two countries in the world right now where same-sex couples can legally marry. Thank God it’s the Netherlands, I like it here!

Write what you know

So what shall I write about? Well, there are a lot of things I feel really passionate about.

George Michael
I'm a big George Michael fan. In fact, it's fair to say that I'm completely mad about him. In a nice way I hasten to add; I'm not a stalker or anything. I just happen to think George Michael is an amazingly talented singer-song writer with loads of charisma. And he's not bad looking either!

This is not a dedicated GM fan blog, but I find the phenomenon that is George Michael endlessly fascinating and I'll probably blog a lot about him

This Autumn, George Michael will go on tour with his Symphonica Tour and I will post reviews of all the concerts I go to. I'll also post reviews from his last tour, the wonderful 25 Live Tour.

Gay Rights
As a gay woman I'm very passionate about gay rights. It's a disgrace that there's still so much homophobia in the (western) world. Over the past three years I've done my bit to make things a bit better. I've joined our national GLBT organisation, COC, and am a member of a group that aims  to educate teenagers about gay rights. We go to schools (only if we're invited of course) and tell a class full of kids the story of our own coming out, and then we lead a group discussion about homosexuality. It's an uphill struggle but I think it's important to keep the dialogue going. And kids need to see with their own eyes that gay people are normal people, just like them.

Delightful things
Everyone has stuff that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The things that put a smile on your face just thinking about them. Your wedding day, the day your children were born, that sort of thing. Those are the big things, but there's also lots of small things that can make you smile, even on tough days. I'm going to write about my little things of pure delight, to remind myself of the nice things life has to offer.

Guilty Pleasures
Self-explanatory really. You know those things you're not supposed to like, but you just can't help yourself? I decided to confess a few of my sins, it's supposed to be good for the soul!

Favourite books
I love reading books. It's one of the safest (look Ma, no drugs!) and cheapest ways to transport yourself to another world. Occasionally I'll blog about a book I liked a lot. Some of them might be well-known and popular, some might be a bit more obscure