Monday 1 August 2011

Missing my mum

Today is not a good day and I feel so very sad. Grief can do that to you. One day you''ll feel reasonably well and you tell yourself: I'll get through this, and I'll come out of this a stronger person".

The next day you're in a dark, locked room. It's so cold in there and there are unspeakable terrors all around you and you just know that you will never, ever get out of there.

My mother is dead. She died a long time ago, when I was just a baby. Sometimes I miss her so much, my body literally aches.
A voice inside me cries out in grief: "Where are you, mum? Why did you die and leave me all alone in this cold word? Living here without you is just too hard for me.

There are no answers, only silence. And my inner child is inconsolable. She misses her mum. I miss my mum. I don't know what to do to help this crying little girl inside of me, we are both so sad. And lonely, forever lonely.

Thank God tomorrow is another day.

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